I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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