return my video game
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
