just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So many bounce houses so little time
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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