even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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