Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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