dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
