Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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