ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
