Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
