girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
