You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
