she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
