I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
