i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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