Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
