Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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