why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
