Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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