I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
