I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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