You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
