if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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