the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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