I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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