Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
