was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
