Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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