T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
