just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
