YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
