Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
