We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
