I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
