Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Couch. On fire.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
