Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
