How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
