Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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