call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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