Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Are my feet made of real feet?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
