i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
