i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
