I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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