Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There are leaves in my underwear?
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