thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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