wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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