My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
