nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
