i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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