ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
