lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
